There's been a very high profile break up reported in the media recently (well... two high profile break ups if you also count Zigi... wah!) But instead of focusing on Taylor Swift's love life and the "promise" of a salty follow up album (at this point in time, we literally don't even want it - let Taylor live!) we've decided to focus on YOUR break-up.
So sit back and get ready to go on a spiritual journey - Tay is here to guide you through your next break-up by the medium of song.
STAGE ONE: Denial
1) For when you just don't think you can bare being left single and alone in the African wilderness.
Lyrics that'll catch your feels: "Say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams. In your wildest dreams / Even if it's just in your wildest dreams."
You know the feeling, at the very beginning of a break up when you think that you'll literally just implode if anyone even DARES to have the nerve to leave you alone in this world. Wildest Dreams will spin you around in that whirlwind of regret and longing and set you free on the other side with nothing but a box of tissues to wipe your tears.
2) For when you just don't wanna believe that you'll never get to k--- Sorry, I'm too busy crying to finish this sentence.
Lyrics that'll catch your feels: "And I'll go / Sit on the floor wearing your clothes. All that I know is I don't know / How to be something you miss. Never thought we'd have a last kiss."
Well, at least you've still got those tissues that Wildest Dreams gave you to hand. Hit play on Last Kiss and cry out the remainder of those denial tears. You're ready to move onto the next stage, sis. You can do this.
STAGE TWO: Anger
3) For when you realise BAE was the absolute ~worst~ so you just wanna trash them.
Lyrics that'll catch your feels: "Well maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame / Or maybe it’s you and your sick need to give love then take it away."
YAS! T Swizzle coming thru in the clutch with a salty ballad for the ages. Burn them, Taylor! And you shall do the same... once the tears have subsided... obvz.
4) For when you want to scream out loud in your car while your mascara is streaked across your face.
Lyrics that'll catch your feelings: "State the obvious, I didn't get my perfect fantasy / I realise you love yourself more than you could ever love me!"
Welcome to the part of the playlist where sad crying is FORBIDDEN. This track is meant for screaming only. Actually, is there an acoustic version of this song? Because that'll reaaaally send you over the edge right now.
STAGE THREE: Bargaining
5) For when you're preparing yourself for the lies and slander headed your way.
Lyrics that'll catch your feels: "But you don't have to call anymore / I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw / Don't wanna hurt anymore."
You get in that car, you plug in that AUX cord and you drive and drive and scream the lyrics to the sounds of Country Swift until you feel the hunger to upgrade to the next level... Pop Swift.
6) For when it's midnight and you're low-key thinking about sending some drunk texts.
Lyrics that'll catch your feels: "It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you / Wishing I'd realised what I had when you were mine / I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right."
Oh fam, the regret is deep. Let Taylor's lyrics take the brunt of this one. Do NOT succumb to the dark terrors of the drunk text! DON'T DO IT! Skip the track if you have to.
STAGE FOUR: Depression
7) For when you think your ex-boo might have a new BAE.
Lyrics that'll catch your feels: "I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about / And she's got everything that I have to live without."
Country Swift is back and she's here to let you know that she feels the pain of your unrequited love. You may not have a guitar to weep upon but a simple pillow will do. No one is fussy about props in the land of miserable break-ups.
8) For when all you wanna do all day is just stay in, binge-watch sad romantic movies, eat chocolate and cry.
Lyrics that'll catch your feels: "After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own / Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone"
Here... have a live version to make you cry even more. This one cuts so deep that all the tears you need to cry will be over and done with by the time she hits that last note. You've made it through the worst and now you're ready for the final stage.
STAGE FIVE: Acceptance
9) For when you're literally just soooooooo over it!
Lyrics that'll catch your feels: "This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town / I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. / Now it's too late for you / And your white horse, to come around."
Go on, now go... walk out the door! And don't even think about turning 'round now because this relationship is DONE and you're totally over it. *repeat to self 5 times... just to make sure*
10) For when you FINALLY feel ready to delete their number and hit the town with your best girlfriends.
Due to Taylor's ridiculous streaming rules, there is no version of Clean on YouTube... Yet another reason for you cry / via giphy.com
Lyrics that'll catch your feels: "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it. 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it"
Time the end of this track to coincide with the pressing of that delete button, boo. And then jump in the shower because the subliminal messaging of this song will make you want to lather yourself in body wash and exfoliate your entire call list.
BREAK UP COMPLETE! WE GOT YOU, SIS!