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Guys My Age by Hey Violet

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Hey Violet Guys My Age
Zayn Malik

Unless you are a deceased person who is currently residing under a rock, you will have certainly noticed that Zayn Malik is well and truly in the middle of a moment. Sure, he has been having a moment since he joined One Direction all the way back in 2010, but Zayn has recently reached peak Zayn (Model girlfriend and all) and it's a great time to be alive. 

Unfortunately, we can't all have our own personal Zayns, but there are definitely ways to turn your boring boyfriend into the Zayn of your dreams. 

Step 1: Get your man on a good skin care regimen.

gif via tumblr

I know that masculinity is very fragile but this is crucial. Have you ever see Zayn with so much as a dry patch on that Godlike face? No. You haven't. Good skincare is the key to turning your dull/dry Louis Tomlinson of a man into a 10/10 Zayn Malik. DJ Khaled would say that it's a major key to success. 

Step 2: Get him to start tweeting some weird sh*t to his friends.

At some point, he should definitely use the phrase "remember when you had a life?" His tweets should be erratic and confrontational with a nice sprinkling of topless selfies for some variety. Add in a mean spirited poll and you have yourself a Zayn who can't be tamed and can't be blamed.

Step 3: Your man should never have the same hair colour twice in one week.

I don't know a single person who can keep up with Zayn's hair colours. But who needs to keep up when you can be constantly surprised by those dreamy bleach vibes. 

Step 4: Allow him to become a mysterious f*ck boi.

gif via sugarscape

To be honest, if he's already a f*ck boi (as most boys are), then he should have no trouble reverting to his natural state.  

Step 5: Get him to dump you.
Zayn Malik goodbye

So you've spent all this time and effort crafting your perfect Zayn. He is truly a perfect specimen...a God among men. Now is the perfect chance to let him dump you. Then, and only then, will he truly ascend to immaculate Zayn-dome. Sacrifice your boo for the good of the many. 


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