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The most important movie of our time and certified Christmas classic, Home Alone, turned 25 years old this week and we all suddenly felt so. old. 

It's a well known fact that Kevin McCallister is a hero amongst us mere mortals. Let's face it, anyone who has officially been left at home to fend for themselves will totally get where we're coming from. So, in the same way your parents made you and your siblings to have a joint birthday party, we've decided to celebrate Home Alone 1 AND 2 (which turns 23 in Decemeber) because Kevin's swag levels are just too much to handle. 


1) You wish you lived in such an extravagant house like Kevin...

You'll never achieve this level of swag.

 

2) You wish your pizza game was a strong as Kevin's...

If you can't embrace a classic large Margherita then you're trying too hard. 

 

3) You wish you could act as chill as Kevin if someone broke into your house...

You'd probably just hide in a cupboard, wouldn't you?

 

4) And you wish you could draft a battle plan as flawless as this one...

First rule of impending home invasion: Be Prepared. 


5) You wish you could master the art of going to the basement without getting scared like Kevin...

Where did he get the NERVE to talk to that evil heater in such a way?!


 

6) You wish you had the guts to pick up that hideous Tarantula like Kevin...

Like seriously... Levels we could never reach.

 

7) You wish your sledding game was as strong as Kevin's... 

Sled hard or sled home.

 

8) You wish your bed-jumping experiences were as gloriously upper-middle-class as Kevin's...

Four poster bed, with high quality festive sheets and a down quilt that would make the Queen of England cry tears of jealousy.

 

9) You wish you could get away with eating as much junk and watching as much rubbish as Kevin...

No matter how much you THINK your Netflix and snack marathons measure up to this iconic status move, you're falling short. 

 

10) You wish you had Kevin's level of commitment to Christmas decorations...

I bet you leave it all down your poor mother, don't you?! The McCallister dream is slowly slipping from your grasp.

 

11) You wish you didn't have any responsibilities so you could be as carefree as Kevin...

Just face it, you'll never live this extravagantly in your life. 

 

12) You wish you could match Kevin's baller lifestyle...

But you probably couldn't handle it. 

 

13) And you wish you could get away with using your parents credit card...

If you rang up a credit card bill of THAT MUCH on your Dad's credit card, you would not survive to tell the tale.

 

14) You wish you could mastermind this level of blackmailing.

BEYONDDDD!

 

15) Most of all, you wish you could live out this dream for just one day...

Limo & a Pizza? More like a smelly Uber and cold cheesy fries for you. LOL BYE. 


So let's face it... You’ll never EVER be on Kevin’s level.

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