After a minor blip in Iowa, business returned to "normal" in the insane circus-like narrative of the 2016 Presidential election as gold painted real-life Mr Burns surrogate Donald Trump won the Republican New Hampshire Primary by a substantial lead. His legions of (white) supporters latched on to his bigoted, ill-informed, outlandish statements about Mexico and Muslims and now he looks set to become the Republican nominee for the most powerful office in the world.
At the same time, rapper, shoe-enthusiast and indecisive album-titler Kanye West took to Twitter, the space most closely associated with rational debate, to tweet his own outlandish statement.
BILL COSBY INNOCENT !!!!!!!!!!— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) February 9, 2016
That's a lot of exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, Trump gets the vote and Kanye says something scandalous. Coincidence? Well, oddly, no. You see, I have a long-standing theory about both these men that last night's events helped to further. It's simple - Donald Trump and Kanye West will say anything to get attention, regardless of whether or not they believe it.
Yep, they don't believe a word that comes out of their own mouths.
So, all that racist nonsense about building walls and banning burkhas has been solely to grab the low hanging confused voter fruit that think statements like "Make America Great Again" actually make sense. If it was easier to get the nomination as a Democrat, Trump would be venting into the nearest available airhorn about legalising weed and nationalising healthcare. Republican attention was just easier to get and he knew that anything particularly inflammatory would be picked up by all other areas of the press too, further feeding the attention monster within.
Kanye operates in a similar way. His music obviously has its own, large, receptive audience. But those fans are miniscule in number compared to the amount of people writing about and commenting on his twitter shenanigans. In fact, to those not interested in hip hop, Kanye is far from the "genius" he claims to be and known only as that loudmouth who talks too much about himself. I highly doubt that Yeezus thinks Cosby is innocent or that Wiz Khalifa really deserved the utter battering he gave him on twitter a few weeks ago or will ever bother running for President like he claimed he might. But he knew those stories would make headlines and add to the odd mystique that has made him, arguably, the most well-known name in rap. His album, out soon, will be even more strenuously analysed now than it would have been already.
So no, I ain't buying the antagonist bullsh*t that Trump and Kanye are selling. The problem of course is that a lot of the people that listen to these two maniacs actually do believe their statements and suddenly the Donald becomes a martyr for the middle class and Kanye a voice of the underdog or, even worse, a "misunderstood creative artist".
Sadly, there is only one way to help kill off these drama queens and that is to ignore them. And yes, I am very aware of the irony in making that statement as part of an article about them both. They are just both so crazy that stopping people writing about them isn't really an option anymore. Guess we'll have to try a different tact - we will accept all your suggestions on a postcard please.
But we better think of something quick, before their power outsizes their egos.