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Losing My Mind by Loop

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Loop Losing My Mind
Woman in a beanie

Ever been slut shamed?  Of course you have. You're a woman on the internet, right? Slut shaming is, of course, the act of policing a woman's clothing, anatomy, behaviour, or beliefs as they relate to sexuality. Well, if you're tired of being slut shamed, let me give you some helpful tips to avoid being called out. 

 

Don't even try to have breasts.

But if you insist on having them, don't let anyone know about them. It's your little secret, you see. I know what you're thinking: this is extreme. True, but what's worse? Having secret breasts or having everyone on the internet comment on them. 

 

Join a convent.

When you become a sister of the Catholic faith you are encouraged to dress modestly and never indulge in pleasures of the flesh. This is a sure fire way to avoid being slutshamed. I mean, have you ever heard someone slutshame a nun? 

 

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Don't let anyone know that you have ever had sex, thought about sex, or even know what sex is. 

 

Move to a quiet mountain region where you will eat from the earth and live out the rest of your days in quiet solitude.

Even then, your slut shaming experience may only be cut in half. Other villagers may see the methods with which you gather berries and stoke your evening fires to be sexual in nature. You're actually better off just moving to the moon. 

 

Start wearing an old timey radiation suit everywhere. 

Wear it to work. Wear it on the train. Wear it to your cousins wedding. Wear it to bed. Wear it in the shower. I mean, you literally cannot slut shame a person in a radiation suit...right? 

 

image via pinterest

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