That's All I Need by Dirty Heads

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Dirty Heads That's All I Need
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It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person in want of a pleasant gig experience shall not get one. 

The Pop Buzz team have attended their fair share of gigs and concerts in the past so we've compiled this incredibly detailed list of the very worst people you could ever hope to encounter. We can guarantee you will have come across every single person on this hit list. Unless you only attend the Opera... then ignore this completely, oh posh one. 


1) The One Who Gets Way Too Drunk

I'm not enjoying it, you're not going to remember it... Absolutely no one is winning in this situation.


2) The One Who Stands Still The Entire Time. With sunglasses on.

Like, why did you even pay for a ticket? Why? WHYYYY?


3) The One Who Spills Their Drink ALL OVER YOU

"Excuse me sir, you're spilling your Strongbow all over my brand new merch... YOU'RE BEING REALLY RUDE!"


4) The One Who Throws Their Drink EVERYWHERE



5) The Really Tall Guy

Mate, you could stand at the back of the arena and still get a better view than me three rows from the front. 


6) The One With The Gigantic Backpack

Spending half the gig trying to avoid being smacked in the face by a sweat soaked Jansport. Classic


7) The One Who Always Wants To Start A Fight

Honestly, I came out to have a good time and I'm feeling so attacked right now. 


8) The Lone Ten Year Old

Sent into battle with zero experience... And they're always the ones who faint before the show even starts.



9) The One That Doesn't Know the Lyrics

Is there anything worse than having a tone-deaf moron singing the wrong words right next to your ear? No. There isn't.


10) The Over Zealous Dancer

There is no room for you to start throwing shapes, sir. This is not a dancehall!


11) The One Who Judges Me When I'm Over Zealously Dancing

What?! It's an absolute banger.


12) The Couple That Cannot Bare To Be Separated

Trying to navigate through this 10,000 strong standing crowd as conjoined twins will not make you very popular.


13) The Queue Jumper

Karma will get you, you untrustworthy fiend. 





15) The One Girl Who Is Apparently 'DYINGGGG'

Should we alert the medical crew or...?



16) The Smartphone Spielberg

If you think your terrible unfocused iPhone crash zooms and incoherent audio will impress your Facebook friends, think again. AND PUT THAT DAMN IPAD DOWN!


17) The Sex Pest

Truly truly heinous creatures.


18) The Guy Who Is Way Too Old To Even Be In the Venue

I didn't know Taylor Swift's demographic included dodgy 50 year old men!? YA NASTY. 


19) That One Guy Who REALLY wants to start a mosh pit, but it's a Radiohead gig and literally nobody wants to do that.

I mean, seriously...


20) That Massive Hairy Dude That Cuts You Off From Your Friends In the Crowd Forever

Farewell, my friends! May we someday meet again.


21) That One Really Nice Drunk Girl Who You Start Chatting To, And Then She Mysteriously Disappears Right In Front Of Your Eyes

Shout out to all those girls we've loved and lost. Hope you're doing well - we miss you! 


22) The Shadowy Heroes That Nobody Ever Sees Because They Have A Girl On Their Shoulders The Entire Time

Bless your heart and soul, but you are an enabler and people like you need to be stopped. 


23) The Sweaty One

THE ACTUAL WORST. *leans on friend for the entire gig because if you touch the sweaty man, you basically dead*


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