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Trust Nobody by Cashmere Cat

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Cashmere Cat Trust Nobody
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Ok - confession time. Raise your hand if you're the last single girl in your squad. There's so many of us that we could probably start our own country, and the thoughts that go through our minds low-key read like one of Carrie Bradshaw’s columns. Am I really the last single girl? Will I ever make it to a date at Nando's with the cute guy in my class? Nope, probs not - but let's all laugh at this list of sad truths together, shall we?

 

1) You flirt with almost EVERYONE you meet. #DesperateTimes


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We've all done it - stalked that guy who held the door open for you on Facebook just so you could imagine yourself with his last name.

 

2) Your friends don't call you to see how you are anymore; they specifically call you to set you up on dates.

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Unwanted dates at that! *rejects call*

 

3) You've come up with a million and one excuses as to why you're actually still single.

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One to tell your friends, one to tell your family, one to tell your dog...

 

4) But the real reason that you're single is because you lowkey spend your days pining over fictional TV characters. 

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Listen, McDreamy is real. I will find him and we will be happy together. If not him... then Dean from Supernatural. OK?

 

5) Even though you're HELLA SINGLE, you’re the sounding board for all your friends with boy problems. 

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Which is a complete mistake because your only advice is "Dump him and be single with me!"

 

6) You’ve downloaded Tinder, but you’ve never actually opened it, have you?


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Trying to flirt online is way harder than trying to flirt in real life. (Excuse number: 1,000,002)

 

7) Once the news of your singledom spreads to your family… it’s game over. 

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The rest of your life will be spent dodging bullets - until your wedding day. 

 

8) HELLO THIRD WHEELING!!! 

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Third wheeling is all fun and games until it feels like you're on the outside of an inside joke. 

 

9) You've sat awkwardly through your friend and her boyfriends arguments more than once. 

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And every time your mind tells you to slip out of the room but your body? Your body is saying 'GURL I GOTTA HEAR THIS!'

 

10) You always get way too invested in your friend’s relationships that when someone breaks up - you take it badly.

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They were like your parents! Didn't they consider how this was going to affect you!?

 

11) That feeling when you’ve seen ‘In A Relationship’ on Facebook but you’re just here like… 

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Ugh. Delete your account.

 

12) Ruining cutesy couple photos is your ultimate jam.

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Ain't nothing better in this world than photobombing one of your friends' romantic Snapchat selfies. 

 

13) Nothing fills you with more joy than seeing one of your friends break up with their boyfriend of 2 weeks.

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Eeeeeven though it's probably a crappy time for them - at least you've gained a squad member. 

 

14) And even though you'd never admit it, there's always that ONE relationship in the squad that make the wait worthwhile.

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THEY MAKE ME BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE, GODDAMNIT!  

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