"Being single is the best" - Beyonce, at some point probably.
"Being married is the best" - Beyonce, more recently.
So like, being single is cool and being in a relationship is also pretty cool. It's just the transition that sucks a**. That phase we like to call "dating" or "dragging yourself through purgatory". Either one.
But don't worry friend, you are definitely not alone. Thanks to the whisper app, you can now post your most sacred thoughts anonymously online. So now we have definitive proof that we're not all crazy and dating is weird af for everybody involved. Especially for these people.
1. It's time. You've spent too long in an exclusive relationship with your laptop.
So you take a deep breath and you sign up for Tinder. There are no holes in that plan whatsoever.
2.When you first enter the dating game, you're excited. Your expectations are high. You're looking for the Louis to your Harry, the Zoey to your Alfie - a partner in crime.
I see no flaws in that plan whatsoever.
3. Before the inevitable reality sets in.
4. And you're determined to be the real, genuine you, no matter what. *cries single tear*
5. Three dates in, you realise that strategy isn't working.
Remind me again, how do you "human"??
6. But you still gotta get out there and face the disappointment.
Just here for the free dessert, tbh.
7. ...except now, you're prepared! Nobody will ever break your heart again *diabolical laughter*.
You're not creepy, you're *intense*.
8. You've developed the subtlest of flirting techniques.
Silently staring at them counts as flirting, right?
9. Once you do start seeing someone, you try to be casual... as far as they know.
Bae needs their personal space, but you just need to know what they're doing at all times, ok? It's called "being in love".
10. But it turns out relationships are just as weird and hard as single life.
So um, good luck with that, we guess.