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The xx On Hold
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

There's a new queen of Instagram in town and she likes cats and hanging out with famous people.

Yep, T Swizzle has taken the crown for the most Instagram followers from Kim Kardashian-West. Kim must be beside herself right now.

 

To be honest, Kim should take comfort in her 45.6 million follower count. But what about the rest of us mere mortals? How the hell are we supposed to compete? Like, I have 132 followers. I might as well be dead. 

But before ya'll start ordering a coffin, how about we conduct a detailed study to find out what are the best ways to take a selfie and generally fill your feed with awesome photos. It can't be that hard, right? Let's take a look at the best in the business to discover how to increase your followers. 

1) Cat selfies will get you likes for days. If you have a cat, you should physically force it into every selfie. I don't care if it tries to scratch your face, just do it.

 

I woke up like thissss (With a cat on me)

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) onMar 5, 2015 at 2:15pm PST


2) The 'fresh out the shower' look is always a good starting point. You're clean, you haven't bumped into anyone you hate yet (frowning = wrinkles!) and you can show off your dressing gown game. 

 

Good morning...

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) onMay 9, 2015 at 10:15am PDT


3) Famous friends are key, as Taylor knows. She could literally fill a rubbish dump with friends who are models. If you don't have any famous friends, you're normal friends will do but you should be prepared to ambush celebs at any time. If you get arrested for stalking, so be it.

 

Ed told me to caption this "SWEERAN"

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) onNov 21, 2013 at 8:56pm PST

 

4) The underwear selfie is a dangerous tactic. There's a thin line between looking like Kim's Insta or a Poundland underwear advert. Lots of light (in the right places) and your most flattering angle is a must! Failing that, remember - photoshop is your friend.

 

Don't think I didn't put lots of sexy pics in my new book #SELFISH

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) onMay 3, 2015 at 9:26pm PDT


5) It's common knowledge that the internet was invented for showing off. You probably haven't won a Grammy but maybe you got a retweet from your favourite pop star? Or maybe you got tickets to see Taylor Swift in London? If so, plz DM right now. I need those tickets. I WILL DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

 

Look what happened. :)

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) onFeb 10, 2013 at 8:31pm PST

 

6) Pout! The more you look like a trout the better. 


7) Holiday snaps are always a safe bet. People will secretly hate you for having a better time than them BUT they will like the picture so they don't appear bitter. It's literally a win win. Extra likes for involving celebs at the same time. And being on a boat.

 

Little known fact: Karlie is secretly an unofficial historian/London tour guide. Kind of.

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) onJun 28, 2015 at 11:05pm PDT


8) Wearing an incredibly stupid outfit will also work. 

 

9) Think about the background. Your eyebrows might be on fleek but no one will care if you're stood idly outside McDonalds. Don't be basic.

 
 

Screaming color.

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) onNov 14, 2014 at 9:45am PST


10) It's not exactly a selfie but it's good to take notes from the 2nd most liked photo on Instagram of all time. Wedding photos with you and the most famous rapper alive, can you do that? Kim's gonna need to divorce Yeezy first so you might need to put this on the back foot for a while/ever, but it's important to give yourself goals.


So there you have it. Follow these and you'll have 45 million followers in no time. Get snapping!

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